A Son is Born--The Birth of Mason Salim (11-4-2009)

It took him 2 years to arrive, but after several false labors, our 4th child and 1st son together by marriage was about to arrive any moment! Shirre started experiencing labor pains early Tuesday morning, drove herself to the local hospital in our hometown in Florida and called my job for me to come quickly from work, our son was about to be born! My heart was pounding as I had already informed H/R and my managers at my company that when the call came I would be leaving immediately. They knew to come get me off my current phone call with clients as soon as Shirre called! Well, Shirre dilated throughout the day, but it was slow going, and she didn't dilate enough for the nurses to induce labor, so they continued to give her medicine through the I.V. to help her along. I remember them saying throughout the evening, "She's X centimeters (dilated) and X% effaced..." I had no idea what any of that meant but I soon understood that a mother trying to give birth must meet a specific minimum number in order to successfully give birth. I had read as much of the sections geared towards fathers in "What to Expect When You're Expecting" as I could, but I didn't remember reading about these terms! After a while, the nurses just let Shirre rest, and I took a very comfortable sofa bed in the room to spend the night. The next morning, the nurses got Shirre up early so they could get her going again. I had a little notepad with me, taking a few notes, and I had brought my digital camera so I could capture the big moment when it arrived! I wrote on my hospital pad the following timeline which I've kept for 2 years in my A. Fuente cigar box:

November 4, 2009

• 8:18am: Broke Water, 4.5 cm

• 10:20am: Pain meds twice > Blood work > 6-7cm
• 10:30-11am: Dr. G/Anesthesiologist [gave Shirre] the epidural
• Shirre was now feeling fantastic and at ease in less than a few minutes. I remember her saying something really funny to the effect that these drugs were amazingly good!
• Somewhere around this time, I believe I went to get a haircut because this was a big day & shedding of hair symbolizes something old going away so that new life can come.
  
• 12:25pm: Nurse Woke [Shirre] up.
• 12:33pm: 8 cm dilated (according to Jill, the midwife).
• 1:38pm PUSH!!!! NOW!!!! Dad's camera and Mama's best friend & nurse, Danita's Blackberry were ready as I held Shirre's hand.
• 1:52pm: Birth! Sent out a pre-written text message to close friends & family announcing that "A prince is here! Mason Salim was born, 11/4/09, 1:52pm, 9 lbs/21 inches"
• 1530 (3:30pm): Epidural catheter removed (Danita took notes from this point as I went home for a few hours to check on our 3 older children who were eagerly awaiting news of the new baby brother!)
• 1545 (3:45pm): Shirre breastfed Mason
• [Shirre] Still holding baby at 3:50pm
• 1600 (4pm): Enfamil formula (bottle) fed to Mason because he didn't want to breastfeed.
• That evening, the nurses took Mason to the nursery to monitor his vitals overnight and brushed his hair into a mohawk, a style which lasted for quite some weeks without us brushing his hair!
• 10:30pm: Weighed 8lbs, 12oz (The nurse explained that babies weigh a little less their first night).

Read the following blog posts chronicling Shirre's pregnancy with Mason Salim:

Baby Diary: It's A Boy (5-18-09)

Baby Diary: The Name Revealed! (7-06-09)

Haiti and the 2010 Earthquake: Part 5-Contacting U.S. Department of State

From the U.S. State Department :

To Ask For or Provide Information About U.S. Citizens in Haiti
Email the Task Force at Haiti-Earthquake@State.Gov
OR
From the U.S. or Canada, call 888-407-4747.
Outside the U.S. and Canada, call 202-501-4444.

For U.S. Citizens in Haiti Seeking Assistance or Reporting Their Status/Whereabouts
Call the Embassy's Consular Task Force at 509-2229-8942, 509-2229-8089, 509-2229-8322, or 509-2229-8672.
OR
Email the Embassy at ACSPaP@state.gov

For All Nationalities and Locations
Use the Person Finder below to find and share information about missing persons in Haiti.

Regarding inquiries about American Citizens to Haiti-Earthquake@State.Gov, (setup due to the high volume of calls) include the following information:

• The full name, date of birth and passport information (if known) of the persons in Haiti you are trying to contact.
• Their contact information in Haiti; telephone numbers, email address, hotel name or address (if known)
• Your name and contact information, and your relationship to the person in Haiti (parent, spouse, friend etc.)
• Any special or emergency circumstances.

Person Finder Tool by Google
Copy & paste the HTML code into your webpage to post this Person Finder tool on your website.

Haiti and the 2010 Earthquake: Part 3-Cause & Effect

A 7.0 earthquake is disastrous anywhere in the world. In Haiti, this disaster is further exacerbated by total lack of economic (banking system, inflation), government (government and non-government agencies), health (hospitals, rescue), communications (telephone/internet, etc.) & civil infrastructures (roads, bridges, public works) due to decades of negligence, abuse, and misuse by Haitian government, big business, and lack of education among the people.

Every time we begin to recover from natural disasters such as Hurricane Jeanne in September 16-17, 2004 which killed over 5,000 in NW Haiti, back-to-back hurricanes in 2008, etc., another tragedy seems to follow on the heels of the last. Furthermore, each successive government reinvents the wheel based on the cult of personality by top leaders, and improvements or initiatives by the previous administration such as hospital building, road re-construction, aid programs, etc. are often not followed up on by the incoming administration.

On top of this, consider an astronomical 80% unemployment rate (just think of how bad it is in the U.S. with10% unemployment!), the government and private sector are completely unable or unwilling to provide new employment for the population contributing to a cycle of poverty impacted by the fact that average citizens must often choose between having food and sending their children to public school which is not free. Even getting simple aid tools like earth movers to dig out people from the rubble of collapsed homes is unreasonably challenging as such things aren't readily available-if at all.

All of the above help explain why we Haitians are successful when placed in environments like the United States where opportunity to succeed is plentiful. Many of us come to the US fleeing political persecution, economic dis-opportunity, and educational disparities back home. There is no such thing as Social Security, government welfare, free clinics, Disability payments, homeless shelters, job training programs, college scholarships, etc. So if we don't care for our own, we know that no one else will. Again, it's not that Haitians are incapable of succeeding, it's that we have no OPPORTUNITY at home, something many take for granted here in the U.S. (unless our families already have or own some form of capital).

Within a few years of emigrating to the US and abroad, many hard-working Haitians have saved enough money to buy houses and real estate, and Haitians annually send more money from the US back to Haiti to help with family education, housing, etc than to any other country outside the US, a perfect example of remittance economy. We are incentivized to succeed because there is no alternative.

Refer to previous posts in this series by accessing the links below:
Haiti and the 2010 Earthquake: Part 1
Haiti and the 2010 Earthquake: Part 2-Where In the World is Ruth Hodges?

Haiti and the 2010 Earthquake: Part 2-Where In the World is Ruth Hodges?

As I mentioned in my previous Haiti Earthquake blog post, "Haiti and the 2010 Earthquake: Part 1", my adoptive Mother Ruth E. Hodges, may be missing in Port-au-Prince, Haiti in the aftermath of worst disaster in 200 years. "Ma" as I've called her since my adoption in 1989, is 82-years-old, has been a missionary to Haiti since 1969, and is responsible for having fundraised and overseen the building of several hundred church buildings, schools & orphanages in these 40-odd years. She is known as "Mother Hodges" by the Tampa Bay community.

Ma travelled to Haiti, leaving Tampa International Airport on an 11:00am American Airlines flight. Friends on the ground in Haiti confirm that she arrived in Port-au-Prince at 3:40pm and expected to be picked up by a pastor, long-time family friend and host for her 50-something missions trip by 5:30pm. The earthquake hit Port-au-Prince at 4:53pm. Based on past experience it takes approximately 1.5 hours on a good day to get through customs where officials search luggage thoroughly, inspect and stamp passports & gather visitor itineraries, and then travellers pick up their luggage at the baggage carousel. So we assume she was still in the airport terminal at the time of the earthquake. Unfortunately, our Pastor friend hasn't spoken with anyone via cell phone in the States since Monday, and we don't know if he was able to get to the airport or if he did, if he was able to transport Ma to his house in a more northern city which is out of the earthquake zone. Travel through Port-au-Prince would have been extremely difficult with debris from collapsed houses and buildings forming roadblocks and casualties in the streets. We don't believe she is still in the airport, however, because many American travellers were stranded at the airport waiting for transportation, and it seems Ma would have approached anyone who had a cell phone to call friends or family in the States.

While watching commentary on CNN, I saw the information on the newscrawl referring to the U.S. State Department 888-407-4747 phone number for those searching for American citizens in Haiti. It took me until Wednesday afternoon to finally get through the phone number as I kept getting kicked off the line between 30 seconds and 1 minute, 45 seconds. I gave the clerk on the other end all the most recent information I had on Ma, and they promised to forward the information to US employees in Haiti and relief workers who would contact me by phone once they located Ma. It's now Thursday morning, and we still haven't heard anything yet which is understandable considering there are over 40,000 Americans living in Haiti.

Ma, despite her advanced age has survived hurricanes, coups, motorcycle accidents, obstinate horses, food poisoning, Dengue Fever (which doesn't kill you but makes you wish you were dead), death threats from witch doctors & more in Haiti. She is a fighter and survivor, and has survived in difficult circumstances that would discourage-if not kill-most people. We believe God will keep her safe.

To read more articles about "Mother Hodges" access the following links:

• Mother's way By JEFF KLINKENBERG, Published May 13, 2007
• 2002 "My Favorite Older Person" Winning Essays-Fifth Place General Education Winner: Hillsborough County
• Tampa/Hillsborough County Human Rights Council, Annual Human Rights Award Recipients

Haiti and the 2010 Earthquake: Part 1

On Tuesday, January 12, my home country of Haiti experienced the worst natural disaster and Haiti's worst earthquake in 200 years! The quake registered 7.0 on the Richter scale and was centered 10 miles West of the capital city of Port-au-Prince (a port city named for Christopher Columbus). The tragedy is of personal import to me for several reasons. Not only was I born in Northern Haiti, but my adoptive Mother, Ruth Hodges, an American missionary to Haiti since 1969 was making her 50-something trip to the island that same day, and arrived at the Toussaint L'Ouverture International Airport a few minutes prior to the quake.

For a bit of perspective on what a 7.0 earthquake is like, consider the following description by Professor Chris Connors of Washington and Lee University:

...the magnitude 7.0 earthquake would cause extreme motion.

"We're talking things flying off the shelves, popping into the air, significant ground motions coming up and down right underneath you," says Connors.

Connors says the fault line is similar to the San Andreas fault.

He says the reason this quake was so damaging was because it wasn't very deep; it didn't have as far to travel before reaching the surface.

The first source of information I accessed on the earthquake came via an e-mail sent from the Haitian Lawyer's Leadership Network (HLLN), a human rights watch list created by Ezili Dantò, Haitian playwright, performance poet, political and social commentator, author and human rights attorney. From her Tuesday, 1/12/10 6:26pm post follows:

General Hospital in Port-au-Prince is down,
Palace is damaged
No one knows how many dead or injured
The aftershock is revebarating [5.9 and 5.5]
People can only see dust,

Obama is sending in military troops.

Phone lines that are working are: Haiti-tel and Voila. Digicel tower is down.

Tsunami warning still in efffect [for nearby Bahamas, Cuba, Dominican Republic & Haiti]. A terrible situation!

This blogger will update my Facebook & Twitter pages as I receive more information from international news outlets and friends on the ground in Haiti. May God help us all.

Unfriendly Neighbors & Other Tales of Woe

Pictures: Hands of Friendship and the Chinese symbol for friendship.
This week my wife, some friends and associates, and I were discussing a topic that is especially dear to me--unfriendly neighbors and people in the otherwise beautiful neighborhood of North Lakeland, Florida.

My wife, our three children, and I settled in Lakeland last year in a gorgeous condo community upon returning from our honeymoon. We chose the area for several reasons. First, North Lakeland was geographically half-way between her job in Polk County and my job in Tampa, Florida. Second, it is easy to get from our house to the Interstate for travel to Orlando or Tampa in about 30 minutes. Third, the real estate property values are favorable in our part of town and we were able to purchase a newly built unit for about $10,000-30,000 less than any comparable house in any part of Tampa. Finally, schools in the area are "A" schools, there is a low crime rate, and we feel our part of town is a safe and peaceful place to raise our family. All those factors together made settling in Lakeland a desirable choice.

One trend we have noticed in the past year, is that no matter where we go in Lakeland, people seem so unfriendly. Sometimes it just makes you wonder! Often we will shop at the Super WalMart, Publix, local mall, or will participate in an activity in the area. I have noticed time and time again that I am one of the few people who speaks to anyone else in public. I can't count the number of times that I have been wheeling my cart down the store aisle, passed someone just a few feet or inches away, made eye contact, smiled and said "Hello", and been rebuffed by a glare or a stare as if to say, "Please, you don't know me like that." It's not just White's who do it. It's my Black folk as well, which is a surprise because the places I've been, Blacks at least recognize each other with a head nod or a "What's up Brother." I just don't know any more.

What's worse that being ignored by total strangers is that we know very few of our neighbors. In the nearly year and a half we have lived hear, not one neighbor has come over to welcome us to the neigbhorhood even when it was obvious that we had just moved in. The only person who bothered to send a welcome basket was our real estate agent. One neighbor came over one day, but it was just to inform us that she's on the Homeowner's Asssociation and we'd better get our act together or else! Sometimes I will drive or jog around my complex and unless I speak or wave first, the neighbors will just look at me like either they're afraid to say something because I'm young and Black or because they're not sure that I belong in their neighborhood. But then again, these are the same people who stole my Obama yard signs in the dead of night during Election 2008.

As a Christian, I've been taught that we should be friendly to show the love of God in a dark world. As an outgoing person, I have no problem with speaking to others, and in many places I've traveled, attended college, and lived, I've found that total strangers somehow find me interesting enough to walk up to me and begin random conversations. So I know that I don't exhibit a "Don't talk to me," air or an arrogant or condescending attitude. Even when I lived in "the hood" during my youth, I never really encountered unfriendly people even among those society considers outcasts. All I'm saying is, if I take my time to say "Hello" to someone, isn't it only polite and thoughtful if the greet me in like manner? Is that really too much to ask?

Baby Diary: The Name Revealed! (7-06-09)

Shirre & Kéto are happy to share our baby boy's name with our wonderful friends & family! We chose a name to reflect our cultural heritages. "Mason" comes from French and means a "stone worker" and is someone who builds lasting structures. "Salim" is Swahili for "Peace". There are several different forms of "Salim" among a number of the world's linguistic traditions.

Shirre is currently 22 weeks along and short on breath sometimes but happy that the baby is healthy & doing well. We recorded our first Baby Diary on May 18, 2009 to share with our many friends and family around the world. This is our 2nd video recorded on July 6, 2009. To life & to Mason Salim!

Baby Diary: It's A Boy (5-18-09)

Shirre & Kéto are proud to announce that we are having a baby boy! On Monday, Shirre went to a specialist who confirmed that she is 16 weeks pregnant and ran sonograms which indicate the gender of the baby. We are so excited! We recently celebrated our 1-year wedding anniversary, and are happy that we will have our first baby together, though we have 3 wonderful children by marriage. Because we have so many friends and family around the world, and for our own records we decided to create an electronic Baby Diary which we will record every few weeks to keep everyone informed of the latest baby news. To life! Watch the video below for my wife Shirre & my very first Baby Diary!

Kéto's Tampa Bay Job Search Guide

As some of you may know, yours truly was laid off from my law firm on March 1, 2009, joining millions of fellow Americans and thousands of Tampa Bay area professionals directly affected by the economic downturn. Thankfully, I re-entered the workforce on April 27, 2009 after 7 weeks of participating in a grueling & often disappointing job search, application & interview process with multiple businesses and technical recruiters in Tampa Bay. During this time, I attended job fairs, visited employment centers, trolled LinkedIn for networking contacts & spoke with many fellow Tampa Bay professionals who also have suffered layoffs, particularly in automotive sales, banking & finance, IT, and other sectors. We compared notes among each other as well as with those associates who are already employed, and identified several sources of jobs, employment organizations, and job boards which offer promising job leads locally. Below, I took the time to summarize the findings & highlight some of the best sources of job opportunities. I look forward to your feedback, and let me know if I left out any important sources:

http://tampabay.jobing.com (Angela Rosario, Community Relations Manager lives locally in Tampa Bay). Jobing is a worthwhile site because it's a job site focusing on Tampa Bay job seekers with jobs IN Tampa Bay, unlike CareerBuilder or Monster which start nationally and drill down locally. Seekers simply upload their resume once, perform a job search based on preferences, location (city/county), salary, job function, etc., and voila, a comprehensive list is generated with all the information you need to know regarding matching positions. Positions include GEICO, Hilton @Home reservations (PT evening work from home), credit unions, banks, etc. In Their Own Words: Jobing.com is the nation's largest, locally-focused provider of employment media, founded by an HR professional for HR professionals. Jobing.com is a unique online community that provides the forum, resources, and technology to connect employers, job seekers, and community organizations. [The site features] expert blogs, workshops, community partnerships, Career Expo job fairs, JobingVideo, Jobing.com CareerCenter, and Go Jobing magazine.

http://www.usajobs.gov has some very competitive government job offerings. The site offers over 46,855 U.S. Government job opportunities worldwide including jobs available due to Pres. Obama’s American Recovery and Reinvestment Act (ARRA). The salaries alone for some of these positions should pique the interest of qualified candidates. Some jobs may require willingness to move to Washington, D.C. or other federal locales; others are closer to Tampa Bay. (Obviously state, city & county jobs in Florida are out of the question at this point as Florida government is seriously out of money).

http://careers.bankofamerica.com Bank of America is hiring throughout Tampa Bay. Obviously BoA recently acquired Merrill Lynch and will lay off 30,000+ over the next 3 years, so seekers will want to be careful what departments you apply to, but there are quite a few part time (PT) Teller jobs as well as full time (FTE) professional positions.

http://careers.suntrust.com A number of Tampa Bay positions require sales background, but for someone who has sales experience, portfolio management, insurance license, etc. SunTrust may be a good opportunity.

http://www.indeed.com Indeed.com is a search engine for jobs, allowing job seekers to find jobs posted on thousands of company career sites and job boards.

University of South Florida USF publicly lists job descriptions at http://usfweb2.usf.edu/HR/Employment/CareerOpportunities.html.
Career Services for USF alums: http://www.coba.usf.edu/services/career/Alumni/index.htm.
If you are on the USF College of Business Administration (COBA) or MBA listserv, you will receive a weekly list of networking events and job opportunities in the Tampa Bay area. Subscribe at http://www.coba.usf.edu/services/career/Students/listserv.htm.
Also view networking resources at: http://www.coba.usf.edu/services/career/Students/networking.htm.

http://www22.verizon.com/Jobs This is the Verizon Career site which includes IT jobs. In Their Own Words: Looking for a rewarding career that motivates and challenges you every day? Look no further. Explore our Verizon businesses to find your dream job.

http://www.workinretail.com WorkInRetail is yet another job board which may be helpful to seekers interested in expanding their opportunities. Jobs include retail positions in Automotive, Department Stores, Electronics, Food & Beverage, General Merchandise, Grocery & Drug Stores, Home & Office, Hotel & Hospitality, Retail Banking, Sporting Goods & Fitness, and more. In Their Own Words: WorkInRetail.com is the nation’s best retail job board specializing in retail corporate, management and hourly jobs. Whether you are an experienced store manager, a Vice President of Merchandising or just starting a retail career, find your next opportunity at WorkInRetail.com

http://www.careerbuilder.com CareerBuilder is a more user friendly job site than Monster.com. The site offers positions in Contract & Freelance, College & Internships, Customer Service, Diversity Opportunities, Executive, Health Care, IT, Human Resources, Part Time, Retail, Sales & Marketing, and more. In Their Own Words: As the U.S.'s largest online job site, CareerBuilder.com puts over 1 million jobs in front of poised job seekers wherever they are - at home or at work - in print and on the Internet. More than 23 million unique visitors come to the site every month to check out the opportunities in every industry, field and job type.

http://careers.jpmorganchase.com/career/careerhome Chase is hiring. Logon the website, and navigate to careers in the Tampa market. Keep in mind, JPMC recently acquired the failed Washington Mutual Bank and is from time to time subject to mass layoffs. In Their Own Words: JPMorgan Chase has a presence in more than 50 locations worldwide and offers an exciting variety of career opportunities globally. Apply for jobs, explore different career paths, create job search agents for email notifications of available positions and learn more about all of our lines of business, as you consider joining our exceptional team.

LinkedIn.com Never underestimate the importance of building & maintaining your own professional network using LinkedIn. It may shorten the time it takes to find a job, as yours truly discovered. (Most professional positions are gained through personal and professional networking). Members only connect with the people they want to connect with, and each connection in turn is connected to "N" number of business contacts. Starting is as easy as uploading a resume and completing your profile through a series of activities and steps. Search your own contacts or those of others to find out who your fellow college alumni are, who works at company XYZ, etc. Feel free to email your LinkedIn friends for introductions to professionals in their networks that you may not yet know, and also ask your connections for networking tips. You may be pleasantly surprised at how many associates offer to assist you in your job search.

Recruiting & HR Firms Recruiting firms can be especially helpful for finding jobs in a number of professional industries (IT, healthcare, business, management, sales, communications, etc.) A few recruiting firms operating in Tampa Bay are IT Resources, KForce, Criterion Executive Staffing, Veredus, etc.

http://www.workforcetampa.com Tampa Bay WorkForce Alliance is the leading workforce development organization in the Tampa Bay region. In Their Own Words: TBWA offers services to businesses to help connect them to job candidates and other value-added workforce development services. Whether you’re a professional, re-entering the workforce, a military veteran or looking to enhance skills for better earning power, TBWA can assist in preparing and referring you to leading employers. Are you entering the workforce for the first time? If so, let us help inspire the confidence you need to reach your goals. Logon the Career Candidate Services tab to upload your resume & perform your job search. TBWFA is also linked with Employ Florida Marketplace, and is a great resource for those performing a job search while participating in Unemployment Benefits.

https://www.employflorida.com Employ Florida links all of Florida's state and local workforce services and resources. The partners are Workforce Florida, the state policy and oversight board, and the Agency for Workforce Innovation, the state agency which administers workforce funds. At the local level, there are 24 regional workforce boards that administer more than 80 "one-stop centers." The Employ Florida toll free number is 1-866-FLA-2345.

http://www.cdcoftampa.org Corporation to Develop Communities of Tampa Inc. (CDC of Tampa, Inc). The CDC recently opened the Chloe Coney Urban Enterprise Center (next to Bank of America | 1907 E. Hillsborough Avenue | Tampa, FL 33610 | Fax: (813) 231-4680), a one-stop center which provides resume services, job training (1,500 clients yearly), work-force re-entry for those who have had past run-ins with the law, assistance to first-time home owners, community revitalization, career computer lab, etc. Youth programs are housed at the Audrey L. Spotford Youth & Family Center in East Tampa. The organization, for whom yours truly formerly provided business planning & development services, primarily serves residents of East Tampa, although anyone who walks through the doors is welcome.

DISCLAIMER: This Tampa Bay Job Search Guide is not an attempt to provide a comprehensive listing of ALL Tampa Bay job search resources. These are simply the major job search resources that have been brought to our attention. We hope this information is of assistance to our readers or friends who are also in the job market. Please keep in mind during your job search that often, some of the best and most rewarding opportunities are with companies and businesses that you may have never heard of but which may have a long-term presence in Tampa Bay due to their roots.

Dating Tips for Men OR How Not to Be a Playa & Make a Fool of Yourself (Part 2)

In April I wrote a Facebook note focusing on the Rules of Engagement between Men & Women on the Dating Scene. I received so much positive feedback that I wrote several more pieces, and now present the fourth piece: "Dating Tips for Men OR How Not to Be a Playa & Make a Fool of Yourself (Part 2)". Previous notes are: "Dating Tips for Men OR How Not to Be a Playa & Make a Fool of Yourself" which explored the 7 most common mis-steps that men make every day on the dating scene; "7 Tips to Winning the Man of Your Dreams OR How Not to Be THAT Woman Guys Talk About (Part 1)" which discussed preventable mistakes that women make in dating & the third post in this series, "7 Tips to Winning the Man of Your Dreams OR How Not to Be THAT Woman Guys Talk About (Part 2)". Thanks so much to my wife, Shirre as well as other friends who gave me constructive feedback. Please enjoy and do feel free to comment! All I can promise you (both men and women) is that you thought you knew everything about men, but you will find out what you don't know by reading this post. Some of what you don't know will blow your mind when you realize how simple the rules are!

Rule #1: Make a mental or written list of the characteristics that a woman must possess in order for you to enter a relationship with her: college education, career, loves children, God-fearing & moral, good manager of finances, physical appearance, loyal/faithful, good cook, mental chemistry, etc. Just as I told the ladies, these characteristics are your standards. Before committing to a relationship you should find out if the woman possesses the most desirable of these characteristics, and whether she is willing to work on the other lower-priority characteristics. You really don't have to verbally ask a woman these questions. She will tell you by her actions, and hints will slip out in her conversation because women are very good at telling you all about themselves whether they know it or not.

Because I don't mind using myself as an example, I will talk about the characteristics that attracted me to my wife. When we met and started dating, I assumed it would be a short-term relationship as I was not accustomed to or interested in relationships that lasted more than a few months. I was a "convenience" or "serial dater". Eventually, after casually dating her for a few weeks, I began analyzing in my mind the kind of woman that Shirre was. Even though she was popular in our circle, and well-liked, I noticed that she didn't run after other men who were always complimenting her & offering her gifts in exchange for a relationship as did many of the women I knew. This showed me that Shirre had a level head and did not let her good looks or popularity go to her head. Furthermore, I met her children and found out by watching their behavior that she was indeed a good mother who loved her children. Her consciousness about spiritual topics informed me of her love for God, which was very important to me. I understood that Shirre was a professional, and that everything she had was a result of her going out for her self, taking matters into her own hands, carefully saving & managing her finances, and demonstrating her independence and hard work. She was open to having a man, but didn't need a man to make her who she already was. Also, we had such great mental chemistry that often we knew what the other was thinking or going to say or when something was wrong without even seeing the other person. It was as if we had known each other in a past life.

When I considered these and several other characteristics, I realized they all matched up with my standards for what a wife should be, and we discussed whether we were on the same page regarding our future. We were, and now we are married as a result. I wasn't looking for a wife at that time, and certainly I had met plenty of beautiful women in Tampa Bay, in my travels to 30 other states, and in my home country of Haiti , but I knew that here she was standing before me--the woman of my dreams & the woman I loved--and I would be crazy to let her go without at least expressing my feelings for her.

Rule #2: This is possibly the most important rule that you will ever encounter, and following it will save you a lot of heartache and prevent you from making bad decisions which we as men may regret for the rest of our lives: If a relationship is meant to be for the long-term, it will last; if it is only meant for the short-term, let her go! Thank God for the times that you had together and MOVE ON! In many cases, both the man and woman may start out on exactly the same level in the relationship. As time goes on, both may move in opposite directions or one will mature in the relationship and the other will not, thus dooming said relationship.

In my younger days, when I was falling in love just about every other day, I realized this fact, and understood that there was no point in continuously chasing someone who was not where I was in the relationship. Many people do this unfortunately to save face; just so they can say, "Yeah, I've got somebody," because everyone else around them has a special someone. But it's not worth it! Some people come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime! This saying is just as true regarding friendships and associations as it is about romances. Also, if you have to constantly text, call, email, IM, etc. the other person, then let's be real, they really aren't interested. Someone who is interested in starting or continuing a relationship will make their interest obvious by maintaining contact with you.

Rule #3: This rule is closely related to Rule #2: You cannot make someone love you who doesn't. You can buy a woman all the drinks, cars, clothing & expensive jewelry in the world. You can pay her rent, pay for her college, and do other things which show her that you love her and want to be with her. BUT if she doesn't feel the same way about you, you are just wasting your time and money and casting your pearls before swine. As soon as someone comes along who has more intelligence, better looks, or possesses something more than you, she will be gone. This is a "fair-weather girlfriend" sometimes referred to as a "gold-digger".

Rule #4: Female beauty and shapeliness will not last forever. If you want to know what a woman will look like 10 years or more from now, look at her mother, grandmother, and other older females in her family. Someday she will look like them. If they have aged gracefully, then likely she will age gracefully as well--if she takes care of herself. If many of them have put on quite a few pounds and look like they could stand a makeover, then it is possible that one day she will look like that too. At the same time, your relationship should be based on love because not every minute of your relationship is going to be spent "partaking of the cookie". That is a young man's unrealistic dream.

Rule #5: DO go on blind dates every now and then. Your friends and family know the kind of person you are, and will generally try to find someone that is going to make you happy. However, you should never go on a blind date arranged by your Mother. She has an interest in picking someone similar to her that SHE wants you to be with, and this is not be in your best interests as an independent man. Mom may be thinking "safe & homely" while you're thinking "wild & adventurous."

Rule #6: Get all the important things out of your way first, or at least have them in progress, and then pursue long-term relationships. Because of our environment during our formative years and other obstacles that we face throughout our lives, some of us may not have our "ducks in a row" at the same time as others. In my case, even though I was from a low-income, single-parent home, my Mom taught be to be the best in everything I was involved in & I was extremely competitive and driven to succeed. As a result, I made the decision very early that I would not parent children out of wedlock or get married until after I had become the first person in my family to graduate from college, earn a graduate degree, start my career & hopefully acquire some real estate. I understood how much time and devotion completing an academic course and starting a career would take up of my life, and I wanted to make sure I had the tools to provide for whoever I would become involved with. Thank God, due to family support & perseverance on my part, I was able to accomplish at least 3 of those goals prior to marriage, and I am now able to focus my time and efforts completely on my marriage and family. The point is that all of us males may not be all that we want to be right now, but we should certainly have made the effort to be on that path that leads us to our dreams. Our women and families look up to us and often will not become any more successful than we are.

Rule #7: Women have back-burner friends too! (Remember Rule #8 in my previous post in which I discussed "just in case" friendships?) The idea applies to women as well! There are women in your life who secretly have you pegged as a "back-burner friend". They may have several options among male friends that they have dated or would like to date if given the opportunity or if circumstances were different. There is always one man in the mix that is superior to the other guys because that man meets more of the standards of the woman in question. But here's how it plays out in the woman's head: back-burner friends may have some quality the woman doesn't like, but if the best option falls through, she could see herself settling for whoever is left (sort of a process of elimination, i.e., "I'd love to have the upwardly mobile Doctor friend, but if he's way to busy or unfaithful, I could settle for the DJ friend who always shows me a good time"). One of the options may be the woman's best male friend (very, very tricky territory), but either the man or woman may choose not to ruin the relationship so they remain friends. Some women will also date openly but hold out for the long term for a guy that they can never have. This may be an unattainable potential mate whom they may have met or an idealistic mental image of the man they could have if they put all the characteristics they desire to "create the perfect mate". The unattainable man could be married, recently divorced, etc., and the woman may have supported him by providing moral, social, or financial support or befriended him in the past.

Rule #7+1: Educated, progressive men--particularly those in the Black & Latino cultures--are a commodity! It is we who are highly desired and sought after not just by Black & Latino women, but by those of other cultures as well. With this in mind, we should take ourselves a little more seriously, and become involved with those who appreciate who we are instead of worrying about those women in our immediate circles who have ridiculously high, unattainable standards for us. Note, I'm not bashing high standards; I'm bashing ridiculous, unattainable standards. There are many women who claim that there are no good men. This is simply not true. What is meant is that there are not enough men who fit their standards of what a successful, desirable man ought to be. A brother who drives a Mercedes & makes six figures is no more valuable or important than a brother working at Office Depot who works hard to support his family.

Understanding this rule means that you may have to date outside your culture, race, religion or economic status to find that special someone that is meant just for you!! That is perfectly ok, regardless of whether you get stared down while out in public with your loved one! (Trust me, I've had this experience from people who didn't know me from Adam). People who don't accept the personal choices you make which make you happy are not really interested in your happiness anyway. This is the 2000's and you as a man must "do you" because we only have one life to live!

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Cross-posted on Facebook on May 13, 2:50am.

7 Tips to Winning the Man of Your Dreams OR How Not to Be THAT Woman Guys Talk About (Part 2)

Last week I wrote a post, "Dating Tips for Men OR How Not to Be a Playa & Make a Fool of Yourself" which explored the 7 most common mis-steps that men make every day on the dating scene. Following this, I wrote another post, "7 Tips to Winning the Man of Your Dreams OR How Not to Be THAT Woman Guys Talk About (Part 1)" which discussed preventable mistakes that women make in dating. We're now ready for the third post in this series, "7 Tips to Winning the Man of Your Dreams OR How Not to Be THAT Woman Guys Talk About (Part 2)". Again thanks to my wife, Shirre as well as other women friends who gave me feedback on my Facebook page.

Rule #1: If you want to know what a man is thinking and why he is doing something, ask him or another man whose advice you trust (your father, a brother, uncle, etc.). Don't ask your girlfriends or your Mother because they will generally give you bad advice based on failed relationships & misconceptions about how men really work, e.g., Vivica A. Fox in Three Can Play That Game (2007). Quite a bit of mis-communication goes on between men and women, and many promising relationships never blossom fully or are short-lived simply because men and women do not understand the difference in each other's communication styles.

Rule #2: Don't try to win every argument. Men and women argue differently. Generally women argue based on emotion and feeling. Generally men argue based on laying out a logical case and making points. Understand that this is neither good nor bad--it's just how it is. However, when you refuse to lose, it shows us that you are inflexible, selfish, self-centered, and think that only you can be right. I've seen plenty of cases where a man thinks he has "won" an argument only to realize that he has just been insulted in the worst way. Many times if you stop and think about why an argument started, you'll realize it was probably over something very minor and insignificant. Often arguments occur based on ignorance of Rule #1.

Rule #3: "The Chase" is good (back in the day it was called "Courting"), but above all be honest and open about your intentions and desires at the very beginning of the relationship or at some point during a date, and let us know where you want it to go. Trust me, we already have plans about where we want things to go, but we need to know what will work for you. Also, we should all be adults and if we are interested in you, we don't have time for mind-games, guilt tripping, and other child-like foolishness. If you don't care about the other person, don't waste his time just to get another free dinner or because he's going to introduce you to Cadillac Williams.

Rule #4: Your clothing and makeup are a reflection of you. Too much of a good thing can be overkill. At the same time, we would like to know that you care enough about your personal image that you took more than 5 minutes to plan your outfit and accessories. There is a good reason why women who wear lipstick tend to get better job offers than women who don't wear any makeup.

Rule #5: This is extremely important but a rule that is regularly ignored and violated among girlfriends and BFF's--Don't kiss and tell. Guys may have locker room talk, but because of the rich level of communication that women share, it's not a good idea to discuss all of your man's finer points. Again this is a family-friendly post, so read between the lines. If your man has it together, there's a possibility that some woman in your circle wants him too based on your descriptions of him, and yes, she will be thinking about that whenever she meets him--even at the family barbeque.

Rule #6: Another very important, but often ignored rule is Be approachable! Don't gain the reputation for being an ice queen. Every brother that walks up to you is not going to ask you out. If you're a fine woman, and have your stuff together, some guys will hesitate to approach you because we figure anyone that awesome MUST have a man somewhere! Remember we men appreciate a beautiful, put together woman; a simple "Thank you" when receiving a compliment is in line. Be willing to break the ice by casual conversation or a smile. Remember in the last post I explained that the pressure is on us men during dating (Rule #7). Unfortunately a lot of women forget how to make a first impression; many assume that if they don't know who a guy is or what he does or if he doesn't have a camera in his hand, it's okay to ignore him when he passes by. You may be staring down your future knight in shining armor.

As a real-life example, when I first met my wife Shirre, I noticed her incredible beauty, but I also noticed her carriage and presence. Whenever she walked into a room her aura announced itself, and people--men and women--would light up around her. I just knew that anyone that amazing just had to be attached. But I approached her (because I'm Kéto & I'm confident in what I bring to the table), and soon found out that she was single and approachable without coming off as a diva. She made our relationship possible because she didn't put up a public "wall" or have a "you're not good enough to talk to me attitude" unlike many other professional women I met, despite her past relationships. Neither of us had any idea in June 2007 that we would one day be married, but we both travelled with a "Welcome" sign, so it wasn't hard for someone to enter our lives.

Rule #7: Failure to be adventurous and adhere to this rule is the reason why many many wonderful women will never find a meaningful relationship: [Be willing to] date outside your circle! Again as I stated in the last post, your frustration in not being able to find an available AND desirable man is understandable (Rule #6). However, this is not just a Tampa Bay problem, it's a widespread women problem. For those of you in Tampa Bay, understand that there are over a million residents of Hillsborough County, and several million more throughout the entire Bay area. You have not met all the good men even if you think you have. You have just met all the good men in YOUR circle. Have an open mind and be willing to date outside your culture, race, religion, social circle, etc.. Again, each time you break the mold and step out of your comfort zone, there will be a particular set of challenges that you will face, but if you want a meaningful relationship and have not found it, trust me it's because you have looked in the same places that you've always looked, and what's the saying about insanity??

As an illustration of Rule #7 I'll use my personal life. As a Haitian, we are generally encouraged to marry within our culture, just as many foreign born young professionals. Because I was open-minded about the dating process and willing to meet whoever was meant for me regardless of race or culture, I didn't shackle myself with tradition and as a result married Shirre, a Black American female, my true love. Furthermore, I didn't expect to marry until 3-5 years later, and I didn't expect to marry a woman with children. But I understand that often the greatest thing that can happen to us will stare us right in the face, and if we aren't ready to move, we can lose out on The One that God has for us. I wasn't willing to make that sacrifice.

Rule #8: Because 7 Rules aren't enough, I give you 7+1: Men do not befriend women that we are not [at least a little bit] physically attracted to. Here's a bit of shocking news b/c I know you thought that our intentions were noble. Did you ever befriend a guy and then eventually some years later end up dating or marrying him? Or do you have a friend that this happened too? Of course you do. Well, it probably was not an accident. As I've said time and time again, we men are very simple creatures and we are predictable in knowing exactly what we want and setting things up so that we eventually get what we want. If you are a good looking female, and you have a lot of male friends, I've got news for you--this is not by accident. I assure you that I have never befriended a woman whom I didn't have some attraction to, even if I was not going to pursue her. This is called a "just-in-case" friendship.

You may think that the long calls, sharing secrets, friendly dinners, "business" lunches, free movie tickets, invitations to family events, etc. are because a guy just wants to be your "friend". Not so! We may not approach you directly in the beginning maybe b/c you're already in a relationship, or we just want admission into your circle without the pressure of asking you out until we're ready, or we're just shy and don't want to be rejected. But trust me, we know that some day, you will become comfortable with us, need a shoulder to cry on, or need a life-saving favor. At that moment, we will be there to swoop in like Superman, solve your problem, and become your hero. And then the romance begins!

This ends my third post on Dating and Relationships, and I hope it is an enjoyable and insightful read for all of you. Please do post your comments. Let me know about how Rules #1-7 have affected your love life, positively & negatively!

Addendum: Because I forgot to include this in the last post, "7 Tips to Winning the Man of Your Dreams OR How Not to Be THAT Woman Guys Talk About (Part 1)"I'm including an addition to Rule #7 Be on your best behavior on your first date. "There are acceptable and unacceptable topics for your first date. Do not discuss sex right away as that will focus your date's mind on only one thing for the rest of the evening. Also, do not discuss past romances or how many partners you've had even if you are asked. It's not relevant to your date and goes with Rule #1 (Leave past relationships in the past). When I started dating Shirre officially, I didn't care how many partners she had had or who her past loves were. They had nothing to do with me. They were in the past, and we were the present and future. Conversely topics that are cool are your family background, your culture if different from his, travels, education, professional goals, leisure topics, hobbies & interests, and various other 'light' topics, etc."

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Cross-posted on Facebook on May 3, 9:49pm.

7 Tips to Winning the Man of Your Dreams OR How Not to Be THAT Woman Guys Talk About (Part 1)

Last week I wrote a post, "Dating Tips for Men OR How Not to Be a Playa & Make a Fool of Yourself (Part 1)" which explored the 7 most common mis-steps that men make every day on the dating scene and which women discuss among themselves, often without our knowledge. I received so much good feedback from both men & women readers that I thought I would also make a post just for the women. After all, in the spirit of fairness both men AND women do things in the dating game that we can look at and say, "What was s/he thinking?" OR "Did s/he really think that saying and doing the same crazy things would produce a different result?" So I present Part 1 which was greatly contributed to by my wife, Shirre as well as feedback from other women friends.

Rule #1: The most important rule for women is [drumroll please]: Leave past relationships in the past! I need to repeat that, so here it is again. Leave past relationships in the past! Don't try to make us measure up to the last wonderful man in your life. After all if he was so awesome you'd still be together, right? And don't try to make us out to be the same guy as losers you have formerly been associated with. As Kat Williams says, to paraphrase (because this is a family-friendly post): If you're still walking around talking about how [guys] aren't any good, [Maybe you should] take some responsibility...and find out what it is about yourself that attracts no good men.

Rule #2: Sometimes a smile is just a smile (see there are some rules that apply to both ladies and men!) Take it as an unspoken compliment. Not every guy who smiles at you is trying to get in your pants! Some people are genuinely friendly and outgoing.

Rule #3: Make sure you have something to offer a relationship. Don't just sit back and wait for the man to do everything (provide) for you. If you want a man who is tall, has an MBA, a solid career, real-estate property, loves God, is good with children, etc. then ask yourself, if the shoe were on his foot, would he see you as desirable beyond your beauty?

Rule #4: Your education, personality & character may not say "ho" or "freak", but if that's what your clothes say every time we see you out, then that's exactly how we as men will identify you. OK ladies, you may not think that's fair, but you need to understand a basic but unspoken rule about us: men are turned on by what we see; we stop at that level and aren't going to try to explore your intellectual side. Conversely, women are much deeper creatures, and ladies are turned on by touch and physical stimulation. It's ok to have a sexy outfit that flatters your form every now and then when appropriate, but vary your wardrobe and have some nice business casual wear or "church clothes" too; the men in your life will respect you a little more.

Rule #5: Make a mental or written note of the desired characteristics of the man that you would like in your life. These characteristics become your standards. For example if your list says: MUST-- be tall, have an MBA, a solid career, real-estate property, love God, be good with children, be faithful, etc. then you should actively seek out men who fit that description. When you meet a man, find out how many of these characteristics he possesses. If you can pick out most of those characteristics "from a lineup", and he is willing to work on others you deem lower priority, then you've got your man. If the answers are NO, then keep walking because ladies, no matter how much you love us, you will NEVER make a man or "train" him to be something that he's not!

Rule #6: Every woman who is single IS on the market! I know that comes as a shock to many of you ladies, but it's reality. Every woman has a price! Let's be real, many of you ladies who are single are frustrated because of the lack of quality, desirable men who are single AND available [to you], i.e., not married, gay, or just no good. Your frustration is entirely understandable. However, the reality is that IF that guy who is perfect for you came along, you [hope you] would know it, and you would then be available. That is a fact. Now if you have unreasonable expectations (See #5), then your standards will be too high, and no man wants to measure up to ridiculous demands, and that can be a source of frustration as well.

Rule #7: Be on your best behavior on your first date. Treat it like a fun interview. Remember you should be yourself, but your first date is the best a man will ever see of you, until your wedding day (if you both make it that far). This is not the time to show out. Realize that dating can be very stressful for men because it is we who must convince you (the desire of our affection) that we are worth making part of your life.

I can remember during my bachelor days when I asked out a gorgeous young lady to one of Tampa's finest restaurants which I am known to frequent. She spent most of the evening unsatisfied with the waitress, talking about how bad the food was; we changed seating arrangements, and she was still unsatisfied. Then the food came & she was still unsatisfied with that too. Needless to say, I never asked her out again. My thinking was..."I paid good money for us to have a good time. No, young lady you don't owe me anything, and I'm not requiring any favors from you, BUT if you aren't satisfied with minor things then how are you going to be satisfied with bigger things?" I simply didn't need the drama (and neither will the man you're trying to win).

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Cross-posted on Facebook on April 30, 9:59pm.

Dating Tips for Men OR How Not to Be a Playa & Make a Fool of Yourself (Part 1)

As a happily married man for 1 year (coming up on 4/26/09) my wife and I sometimes talk about how relieved we are that we no longer have to deal with "the dating game". No longer is there to wonder about when that special person will call and ask us out to dinner or the other way around or if someone wants to make time for us. We don't have to juggle dates and be worried about pleasing all of them: Terry on Monday evening, Jenny on Wednesday lunch, Sharon on Friday, etc or wonder how many more of these it will take to find "the one". We don't have to go out then wonder, "Hey what's it like to go home to the same person every night?"

There is a sort of peaceful tranquility and security to know that one person has your best interests at heart, and you have theirs. One person knows everything about you and you can chill at home without saying anything yet communicate everything richly, or if you do talk there's no danger of running out of interesting things to say. It's simply the state of "BE-ING". Both of us still hang out with some of our single friends as well and from time to time they ask us advice on dating & relationships, I guess because we seem happy with each other and have a successful loving marriage. From conversations with those friends, both men & women, I have gleaned the following bits of advice that should be especially helpful to guys, especially to those who think you're the greatest that ever done it!

Rule #1: (This is the most important rule guys, and the one most often violated; so pay attention b/c every guy thinks they are special or original in this category). Do not waste your time trying to come up with clever pick up lines. There is likely nothing you could say that a woman has not already heard, especially if she's an attractive, well-put together woman. "Baby, I can drink your bathwater" or "Hey Shorty, how old you is." is not something that grown men should say to anyone except a hoodrat who doesn't know any better.



Furthermore, a woman already has an idea of what category you're in when she first meets you, and not much you say is going to change that--Category 1: He's a loser, he'll get a fake (555-1212) number or the brush-off or no responses to his texts. Category 2: I'll give him my number and let him take me to dinner, but that's it. Category 3: I like this guy and he's datable, or at least I have no problem being seen in public with him. Category 4: This guy is "friend" material. I'll keep him around just in case, especially if he's smart, successful, well-connected, etc. Hey there could be more categories, but I'm just going by a guy's observations. A simple, "How are you? I'd like to get your number," or a simple understated compliment often works just fine.

Rule #2: On Communicating with Women/Online Dating: Meeting a woman for the first time and then Myspacing/Facebooking her and bombarding her with texts, calls, Myspace/Facebook comments, etc. without first asking her permission is not cool & she WILL talk about you to her girlfriends, which further alerts them that you're not cool either. So now you haven't just lost one desirable woman, you've lost a whole bunch of them in one shot. To you, it may be a cool way to get in touch & show her you're serious, but to her, it makes you look desperate. Instead, make a contact, and WAIT! I know it's hard, but WAIT. If she is interested, they will reply (this goes for guys & girls) but you're likely to get a "0" on your score card if you IM her every time she pops up active and online.

Rule #3: A smile is not necessarily a come-on, so get over yourself. Take it for what it is. If you want to approach then go ahead, but often a smile is just a friendly hello and is done as a polite greeting. It's like a drive by--it could happen to anyone.

Rule #4: Myspace & Facebook profile pictures may not be accurate representations of a person's physical appearance. Not everyone you meet online looks like Halle Berry (before OR after twins), or Idris Elba or Kobe (for you ladies) so don't try to make a hookup on the basis of online pictures alone. What you see is what the other person WANTS you to see.

Rule #5: Be wary of men or women who want to see what kind of phone you have or what kind of car you drive before showing their interest. Men and women who show a materialistic bent may well be gold-diggers, and when the next guy comes along with a bigger SUV or the next girl comes with nicer measurements, you'll be left holding the ice cream cone, and sometimes the bill.

Rule #6: Make sure before you ask anyone out, that both of you have something to bring to the relationship--whether a good job/career, ownership of real estate, education, or nice teeth, etc. An uneven relationship is one where one person, male or female is giving all the time and not getting anything of equal or greater value in return. That is not only robbery, it's abuse, and a smart person will call you out.

Rule #7: This is the rule that will save your life. Be yourself! People like originals. When I was on the dating scene I didn't need to drive a Benz, sport a BlackBerry, or try to speak with an exotic foreign accent even though I'm Haitian, or pretend like I was some big baller. Sometimes it's good to just be the real you. Don't expect meaningful relationships when you start off those relationships on exaggerations, distortions, or half-truths. It gets old after a while when a guy rolls up and to impress you starts talking loudly on the phone about how he was out with P. Diddy last week, just closed on his 5000 sq ft house, is going to that concert in VIP, bla bla bla.

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Cross-posted on Facebook on April 23, 1:08pm.

Who Is DJ 9:27?

So who is DJ 9:27? Around August 2006, I was asked by my good friend L.I.F.E., President/CEO of the Black on Black Rhyme poetry collective to be his co-host for weekly poetry shows and featured shows in Tampa, Florida. For those unfamiliar with Black on Black Rhyme, the collective was started by then students of Florida A&M University (FAMU) in Tallahassee, FL has several franchises nationwide in cities such as Tallahassee, Florida; Tampa, Florida; Rochester, NY; Atlanta, Georgia; Ft. Lauderdale, Florida.

Shows meet in each city at least one night weekly and feature some of the best local underground poets performing "spoken word", "open-mic" poetry. Open-mic refers to the practice of signing a list at the door; the show host then calls up each open-mic signee to perform their piece at some point during the show. Also, a spoken word artist is a performance poet who stands before an audience and recites their poetry aloud. Some poets are also singers, musicians, and/or song writers who may perform pieces to music. Each show will at times have a featured poet who is usually visiting from out of town. This featured poet will stand and perform a set consisting of several poems and may offer his work for sale whether a CD or book. From time to time groups of poets will also get together at a local, state, national, or international performance poetry competition called a "slam" in which poets compete for the love of the audience, high scores from slam judges, and cash prizes which may range from a nominal amount of money up to thousands of dollars for the winners.

Anyhow, I myself do not consider myself to be a poet (because I'm not) but I have been a performance musician since age 9 (piano/keyboard, saxophone, organ, snare drum, xylophone, etc. are among the instruments I have studied) and feel comfortable addressing crowds oratorically or performing music for hundreds to thousands of people in an audience, so it seemed natural for me to begin hosting the shows while having the chance to meet some of the worlds greatest poets and performers, many of whom have appeared on BET, HBO Def Comedy Jam, TV One, etc. such as Taalam Acey (poet, author), Kevin Sandbloom (guitarist, writer, poet), Sunni Patterson (poet, college professor), and more.

In the meantime, I always wanted to learn the art of DJ'ng and since our DJ, Forge was getting ready to leave to begin his Masters of Psychology studies in Missouri, he began showing me his craft, and would sometimes have me to work part of shows while he watched me. By July 31, 2007, Forge's last show, I was ready to go and made the transition from show co-host to DJ. L.I.F.E. figured that since I didn't have a DJ name or moniker, and all DJ's do, he would let the audience name me. So for the next few months, he held a weekly contest, and audience members that arrived by the opening time of 9:30pm got to submit names which the entire audience voted on. By December, 2007, I had a permanent name, DJ 9-2-7 (Also written, 9:27) which was chosen by audience member Aleysha E. because I had a reputation for arriving around 9:27pm just a few minutes before the start of the show. Well, the moniker stuck, and that is "the rest of the story."

This blogger DJ'd Black on Black Rhyme Tampa full-time from 2007-2008.