Hurry Up and Apologize to Rush Already!

Hilarious! With the recent hullabaloo over apologies made to Rush Limbaugh by GOP leaders like RNC Chairman Michael Steele, Governor Mark Sanford (R-SC), etc. the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee came up with a customizable Republican Apology Machine template which laymen like you and I can use to apologize to Rush Limbaugh, undisputed leader of the Good Ol' Boys Party. How dare you not kiss Rush' you know what! You should be ashamed for even trying to think for yourself without his permission!

Here is the apology that I wrote to Rush Limbaugh in the name of House of Representatives Whip, Eric Cantor. Not because he's done anything, but he eventually will, and Cantor can feel free to use my ready-made apology. This is my service to the GOP, and no need for thanks!

Dear Rush,

I’m so sorry that I called you ugly. My comments were not even about you. What I meant to say is that you are worthy of enormous respect. Yeah, sometimes I speak generically – seriously I wasn’t even talking about you. Everyone knows we Republicans like to say one thing and do another, right?

You and I both know that in reality, you simply want President Obama to fail in this time of economic collapse. How can I disagree with that? Please accept my sincere apologies, oh great leader of the Republican Party. Can’t wait to be on your show soon! XOXO

Sincerely,

Republican Congressman Eric Cantor (coming soon)