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Pictures: Hands of Friendship and the Chinese symbol for friendship.This week my wife, some friends and associates, and I were discussing a topic that is especially dear to me--unfriendly neighbors and people in the otherwise beautiful neighborhood of North Lakeland, Florida.
My wife, our three children, and I settled in Lakeland last year in a gorgeous condo community upon returning from our honeymoon. We chose the area for several reasons. First, North Lakeland was geographically half-way between her job in Polk County and my job in Tampa, Florida. Second, it is easy to get from our house to the Interstate for travel to Orlando or Tampa in about 30 minutes. Third, the real estate property values are favorable in our part of town and we were able to purchase a newly built unit for about $10,000-30,000 less than any comparable house in any part of Tampa. Finally, schools in the area are "A" schools, there is a low crime rate, and we feel our part of town is a safe and peaceful place to raise our family. All those factors together made settling in Lakeland a desirable choice.
One trend we have noticed in the past year, is that no matter where we go in Lakeland, people seem so unfriendly. Sometimes it just makes you wonder! Often we will shop at the Super WalMart, Publix, local mall, or will participate in an activity in the area. I have noticed time and time again that I am one of the few people who speaks to anyone else in public. I can't count the number of times that I have been wheeling my cart down the store aisle, passed someone just a few feet or inches away, made eye contact, smiled and said "Hello", and been rebuffed by a glare or a stare as if to say, "Please, you don't know me like that." It's not just White's who do it. It's my Black folk as well, which is a surprise because the places I've been, Blacks at least recognize each other with a head nod or a "What's up Brother." I just don't know any more.
What's worse that being ignored by total strangers is that we know very few of our neighbors. In the nearly year and a half we have lived hear, not one neighbor has come over to welcome us to the neigbhorhood even when it was obvious that we had just moved in. The only person who bothered to send a welcome basket was our real estate agent. One neighbor came over one day, but it was just to inform us that she's on the Homeowner's Asssociation and we'd better get our act together or else! Sometimes I will drive or jog around my complex and unless I speak or wave first, the neighbors will just look at me like either they're afraid to say something because I'm young and Black or because they're not sure that I belong in their neighborhood. But then again, these are the same people who stole my Obama yard signs in the dead of night during Election 2008.
As a Christian, I've been taught that we should be friendly to show the love of God in a dark world. As an outgoing person, I have no problem with speaking to others, and in many places I've traveled, attended college, and lived, I've found that total strangers somehow find me interesting enough to walk up to me and begin random conversations. So I know that I don't exhibit a "Don't talk to me," air or an arrogant or condescending attitude. Even when I lived in "the hood" during my youth, I never really encountered unfriendly people even among those society considers outcasts. All I'm saying is, if I take my time to say "Hello" to someone, isn't it only polite and thoughtful if the greet me in like manner? Is that really too much to ask?
